So. Pretty much non-stop (no kidding – if I wasn’t wrist deep in noodles, I was waiting for them to dry and if I wasn’t doing either of those, I was thinking about the lamp) for the past two/three weeks I’ve been working on this lamp.
I spent around sixty dollars on it.
Who knows how many hours…
I had such dreams for it. I thought it was going to be spectacular.
It’s not.
As with all things, there were many unforeseen issues that arose.
· The noodles dried on the top but not the underneath
· Noodles have a penchant for rotting. And making your entire apartment smell disgusting
· Although they seem it, noodles are not that strong. They will collapse
· Noodles, like all things that soak in water, shrink when they dry (Ok, that one I did see coming)
· “Lamp Kits” don’t come with bases for the lamps
· “Lamp Kits” are not kits at all. They’re several individual pieces that you need to buy individually.
· Et cetera.
So, I had dyed all those ring noodles and some manicotti. The manicotti either collapsed while drying or were so brittle when done that they just fell apart so I had to come up with a new idea for my base.
I bought some lasagna noodles and I dyed them. I loved the ruffles on the edges and I was
determined to use them.
I put some aluminum foil over the only thing that I could find that I thought would work: my preexisting table lamp – for the shape of the shade, extending it downward with the tinfoil. I then began to layer noodles on.
When they dried (which is a relative term, because they really didn’t underneath where it was touching the foil) they were so heavy that they warped and broke where the foil was not supported by the lamp.
I threw that whole piece out and bought more lasagna noodles.
I started over (on Monday) and overnight I created an entire shade and a really crappy base that I redid on Tuesday after class.
Finally, I had what looked like a lamp, but it was still wet and I was really afraid that it wasn’t going to be done for Thursday.
I got it to dry well enough and I coated it in come polycrilic that I bought just for that occasion on yet another trip to Home Depot to buy supplies for this lamp (I ruined the first socket because the directions didn’t tell me that once it was put together, it was not going to come apart without being completely ruined).
And Voila! Everything was ready to be put together.
The problem was that when I went to go put the shade on the lamp, I knew that it was not going to support itself. So I fashioned a fancy wire frame for it.
But the base was really wobbly. The whole thing almost fell off of the shelf I had it on because it was so bad.
I didn’t have enough rice to weight it down and I couldn’t get bulgar wheat in so I decided to fill the tube for the base with plaster – thinking that it might come spilling out the bottom, but also being pretty sure that I got glue all around the bottom so it really shouldn’t come out.
It came out.
It was covered in plaster and it was so brittle as to fall apart easily – but it was together.
I was disheartened and upset. I didn’t want to bring it in to class at all because I knew that it looked pretty bad, but I had tried my hardest and well, the idea itself is pretty original and complicated.
I got just the feedback I was expecting: Cool idea, I’m sorry about the execution. Then I received some ideas to make it better.
Maybe one day I’ll try again but for now – I’m kind of done with pasta.
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