Personal Pasta Purgatory

This Thursday past was the due date for our Color and Design projects. (Think back and remember me dyeing thousands of noodles…)

So. Pretty much non-stop (no kidding – if I wasn’t wrist deep in noodles, I was waiting for them to dry and if I wasn’t doing either of those, I was thinking about the lamp) for the past two/three weeks I’ve been working on this lamp.

I spent around sixty dollars on it.

Who knows how many hours…

I had such dreams for it. I thought it was going to be spectacular.

It’s not.

As with all things, there were many unforeseen issues that arose.

· The noodles dried on the top but not the underneath

· Noodles have a penchant for rotting. And making your entire apartment smell disgusting

· Although they seem it, noodles are not that strong. They will collapse

· Noodles, like all things that soak in water, shrink when they dry (Ok, that one I did see coming)

· “Lamp Kits” don’t come with bases for the lamps

· “Lamp Kits” are not kits at all. They’re several individual pieces that you need to buy individually.

· Et cetera.

So, I had dyed all those ring noodles and some manicotti. The manicotti either collapsed while drying or were so brittle when done that they just fell apart so I had to come up with a new idea for my base.

I bought some lasagna noodles and I dyed them. I loved the ruffles on the edges and I was

determined to use them.

I put some aluminum foil over the only thing that I could find that I thought would work: my preexisting table lamp – for the shape of the shade, extending it downward with the tinfoil. I then began to layer noodles on.

When they dried (which is a relative term, because they really didn’t underneath where it was touching the foil) they were so heavy that they warped and broke where the foil was not supported by the lamp.

I threw that whole piece out and bought more lasagna noodles.

I started over (on Monday) and overnight I created an entire shade and a really crappy base that I redid on Tuesday after class.

Finally, I had what looked like a lamp, but it was still wet and I was really afraid that it wasn’t going to be done for Thursday.

I got it to dry well enough and I coated it in come polycrilic that I bought just for that occasion on yet another trip to Home Depot to buy supplies for this lamp (I ruined the first socket because the directions didn’t tell me that once it was put together, it was not going to come apart without being completely ruined).

And Voila! Everything was ready to be put together.

The problem was that when I went to go put the shade on the lamp, I knew that it was not going to support itself. So I fashioned a fancy wire frame for it.

But the base was really wobbly. The whole thing almost fell off of the shelf I had it on because it was so bad.

I didn’t have enough rice to weight it down and I couldn’t get bulgar wheat in so I decided to fill the tube for the base with plaster – thinking that it might come spilling out the bottom, but also being pretty sure that I got glue all around the bottom so it really shouldn’t come out.

It came out.

It was covered in plaster and it was so brittle as to fall apart easily – but it was together.

I was disheartened and upset. I didn’t want to bring it in to class at all because I knew that it looked pretty bad, but I had tried my hardest and well, the idea itself is pretty original and complicated.

I got just the feedback I was expecting: Cool idea, I’m sorry about the execution. Then I received some ideas to make it better.

Maybe one day I’ll try again but for now – I’m kind of done with pasta.

The New Lorax: This One Speaks for the River.

Throughout my two years at Arcadia, I’ve heard the name Chris Swain mentioned at least a dozen times. E-wastes drives and swimming. I guess it never really occurred to me to look him up even though Steph and Iris sung his praises.

That was, until, as all things are, Steph asked me to set up an event for him at Arcadia.

It took me a while to contact him but I finally got through and I must say our conversation was pretty funny. I was only really half expecting it. Only half and not less because I was, well, warned, I guess?

So, we set up a date and time and discussed all the details and it was pretty much set to go. Of course, there were some hitches but that’s rather inconsequential now.

Anyway!

Our event was Friday, but on Thursday TTF was holding a screening of his Hudson River documentary.

I wasn’t able to go.

At first.

Then I emailed those whom I was going to work for and asked if I could leave at 6 and they were ok with that.

Then that work was cancelled altogether and I got to go no matter what! I was REALLY excited. I (as you may remember) went to one of their screenings a few weeks ago and it was a blast.

So anyway. On the way there Jamie and I were pondering whether or not Chris was going to be there and Steph couldn’t really say either. When we arrive Sarah tells us that Chris will be there for the discussion portion of the screening.

The movie, I thought, was quite good. I commented to myself on how I really appreciated all the extra bits of information as he went down the Hudson – little trivia things that, even though I was born spitting distance from the river, I did not know.

Chris was, as ever, really funny throughout the thing.

At the end, however, I found the most powerful piece of the film. I actually got a little teary at the sculpture at the end. I laughed that I, the artist in the room, would really be impacted by that. (I found out later that he requested that if they were to do a documentary about him, it would be informational and that he thought the sculpture at the end was weird)

The movie ended and Chris was “two miles away.”

We started without him and, as discussion with this group seem to do, it flowed really well and was quite thought provoking.

Suddenly, from where I am sitting, I see something moving through a crack in the door. We all fall silent as we hear the outside door open and almost instantly he who must be Chris Swain bursts through the door and immediately asks if anyone has any questions.

If I thought talking on the phone with him was funny, this was probably the funniest thing in the world.

But in all truth, no matter how many jokes Chris makes or however many funny things he does, this is a serious situation and there is definitely a serious lining to everything here.

People really do go everyday without clean water. People die everyday from not having access to it. More people die of not having clean water than any other disease.

What he’s doing is not only brave – because he is swimming through some really nasty stuff – but it’s also really inspiring. Even from the video, we could see that he really touched a lot of people and brought the issue to the forefront if it wasn’t there already.

But, not to make the mood somber or anything, when we left we saw that Chris had parked on the lawn. Not in the parking lot. Not in the driveway. On the little tiny five foot patch of lawn in front of the house. And it looked like he was in such a rush that he must’ve slammed on the brakes because he was pretty close to the house.

And he had no coat. Mind you, it was freezing AND he had just driven from Massachusetts – where it is no doubt even colder.

The three of us ended up creating scenarios that kept us laughing all the way home.

But I digress.

I had finally met the famous Chris Swain.

Friday night was our event at Arcadia (that I set up! YAY!) and I was really nervous that no one would show up. I also got upset when Steph told me that I stupidly put November on the flyers instead of December. It was too late at that point.

Finally it gets to be time to actually head over to Brubaker. We get there and set everything up and Steph shows up. Then another club member. Then Chris.

At the end of it all we had ten people, which isn’t bad I suppose. I do really wish that more people came though because well, he’s really a great guy with a lot to say.

Speaking of that: Here’s what he said. But not quoted. And really jumbled from it almost being a week now since that Friday.

Both nights, he talked about finding and doing something that you love. This makes it easy to get up and love what you’re doing. It helps you do it well. I’ve been saying this a lot lately: It’s cliché, but it’s cliché for a reason. It’s true.

A conversation spurred off of what one of the people at the movie discussion about being the first crazy person to do something. Imagine a guy at a concert. Everyone is sitting but this one crazy guy is up and dancing away. Everyone thinks he’s crazy and they just want him to sit down so they can be at the concert in peace. But then something strange happens – someone else gets up to dance too. Pretty soon – within minutes – the entire place is up and dancing. Who was the one to really get the idea going? The first crazy man who only one person would consider dancing with, or that second guy who was the social lubricant that got everyone else up and moving?

On Arcadia’s night, Chris talked about how many sea turtles die from ingesting or choking on plastic bags. I don’t really want to recount the numbers, so if you’re interested, look them up. It’s a lot. Stop using plastic bags. I love sea turtles.

And then there were the sharks. Apparently there was legislation afoot that would ban – in US waters – anyone from having “pieces of a shark” on their boat. If there was a shark fin on a boat “there’d better be s hark attached to it.” This legislation never went any further than some secretaries desk. These sharks deserve better. There’s something like a 90% decrease in the amount of sharks than there were before – I forgot how long before…

Since Chris is swimming in the Atlantic, he is taking a great risk. Not only could his crew all fall in the water, he could be swept away, or eaten by sharks, or… Well, the shark bit is interesting. He talked on Friday about how people have recommended silly things for him to do to avoid sharks. He told us how sharks hunt and such then recounted to us a few ways people suggested that he solve his might-be-shark-issue. Namely: paint your wetsuit to look like an Orca. Ok. Well, good in theory but this wouldn’t work. 1. He’s too small. 2. His electromagnetic signatures are not accurate for that of an Orca 3. Sharks close their eyes when they attack. They aren’t going to see the suit anyway. SO! Some people – out west somewhere – I don’t remember who – donated a “shark shield” to him. Apparently it’s a two meter (I think) long wire that attaches to his ankle and trails behind him as he swims. When turned on, it gives off a new electromagnetic signal that deters the sharks. Nifty.

Then there was the veggie truck. I’ve always wanted to convert a car to veggie oil. Now I know it’s feasible. He’s got a veggie truck.

Another really great thing that he talked about that I have some serious considering to do about is this… “If I died, I want to have done…” It’s a method of finding out what you want to do in life. He went to school for French literature and Film studies. Then worked in a whole bunch of odd jobs. Then he went to school for acupuncture. He worked there for a little while and one day found himself on the banks of the Columbia River. He had decided to swim the entire length of it. He says that he’s vain and wants his kids to think well of him. To know that he’s done something. I think that that is a valiant thing to do for a valiant reason. But, so, he’s found his thing… What do I want to have done if I died? (I recommended that he swim the Finger Lakes next and he told me I could do it. Well, I suppose I could.. but I’m not a swimmer. I’ll have to find something a little more suited to me)

I guess that’s a good place to call it quits. There was so much he talked about that, well, you just should’ve been there.

Even though only ten people showed up, the event was definitely successful. I am proud to say that I’ve met him and I extend my support for all he has done. I think he is brave – I have a feeling my impact on the world will be much more subtle than his.

Yes, he speaks for the rivers, but I bet he’d like it if a chorus join